How I would define a Birthmom

A Birthmom is a young teen or an adult woman that finds herself pregnant when it was not planned and having to soon face one of the hardest decisions she will ever have to make in her life...keep your baby, or place it for adoption.

Birthmothers are not all the same. They come from all walks of life; different ages, ethnicity's, religious backgrounds and financial status's. Some have families that love them, some that don't and some that just don't exist at all. They are intelligent, they are troubled. They are strong and independent, they are lost and frightened. They are angry and elated, confused and informed. There is no simple box or specific category for which to place these women. Each approaching the crossroads of adoption from a different path, each creating a new path with each defining decision they make.

For these girls the decision to abort, parent or make an adoption plan for their child will forever change the path of their lives as well as their child's.

I posted this back in November - but I wanted to post it again. Whether the path of domestic or internationally adoption is chosen, the one common denominator is the birth mother.

To all birth mothers across the US and around the world; thank you for making one of the hardest decisions in your life. Thank you for choosing life. Thank you for carrying a child for nine months, going through the pain of labor, holding the child in your arms and loving the child so much that you

The video below is a song by Mark Schultz who was given up for adoption. It is his tribute to his birth mother and birth mothers around the world.

Thank you for everything

DTC on Friday

Yep that is right! DTC (Date to China) after let's see...a little over eight months. We have completed all the necessary paperwork to proceed with our journey to China for a little one!

3lbs of paperwork was shipped off on Monday (the big list down the right side of our blog) Our agency will overnight to China on Friday.

The next step for China is a LID (Log in Date). This date determines the order for which families will receive a referral. To give you an idea, In April, China will be referring families that have a LID of 03/07/06 (and hopefully a couple more days). The time frame for a referral is now 36-38 months.

Dave and I are as excited today, as we were a little over eight months ago...

We are celebrating this weekend by going to the beach - Yippeee!!!

Dates to Celebrate

Looking for help from our China adoption friends here. What are your favorite adoption dates (like date to china, log-in date, gotcha day) and in what special way have you celebrated them?

What about "Open" adoption?

I have been focusing on making good use of my time while we wait for our little Shania. I have been diving back into my jewelry making (more to come soon...no really!) but more importantly we have been reading and educating ourselves on open adoption, birthmothers and the adoptive child.

As we learn and grow we thought that it would be good to share. Not unlike Dave and I, most of you have never experienced adoption much less...an open adoption. And not unlike Dave and I, you may have fears, questions and misconceptions about these very subjects. Hopefully by sharing what we learned - You can begin to see why Dave and I have opened our hearts to open adoption.

Today most domestic adoptions are open. An open adoption involves a face-to-face meeting between the birth and prospective adoptive parents prior to placement; an exchange of identifying information; and a commitment on both sides to continue the relationship. The degree of openness in a open adoption varies greatly from family to family. Typically there is a once or twice a year visit with some other form of communication such as email or phone calls in between.

In an open adoption, the birth parents' legal rights of guardianship are terminated, and the adoptive parents become the legal parents.

The result is an adoption experience that is more positive and healthier for all parties. There is openness, honesty and communication - all important keys to any great relationship but most importantly, a healthy, secure child.

Dave and I are sincerely looking forward to the day when we can begin a relationship with our birthmother.

Back to the Consulate - hopefully for the last time

Its a long story so I will not bore you with the details. Something to do with a new Secretary of State and a signature but anyways...Our last 2 documents are headed back to the Secretary of State for final Authentication. We will then have all our paperwork ready to go to China!

No word on the Domestic front. Dave and I are relishing each and every moment of "alone" time we have together. We know and hope that once day soon that will ALL CHANGE.

email at 5:30am "CONGRATULATIONS you have been accepted"

Our social worker (for Arizona adoption) presented us to the entire Christian Family Care Agency staff yesterday. She sent an email late last night letting us know that we are in their match book as of today!

The entire process has really been a breeze. CFCA has been a joy to work with. Our biggest challenge was to write- THE LETTER - the introductory letter to birth parents. This is what our birth parent (or parents) will eventually read - then they'll meet us - then they'll pick us and we will be parents.

I will spare you most of the details but here's how it starts...

Dear Birth Parent(s),

This is a BIG opportunity. It is A BLESSING TO US that you are reading this letter. We want to tell you a little bit about ourselves, our family and life together, but first want you to know something. We want you to know that regardless of the decision you make we love you and want nothing but the best for you and your child. We understand that you may be going through a difficult time right now. We want you to know that GOD CREATED YOU. HE KNOWS EVERY BIT ABOUT YOU AND HE LOVES YOU. HE IS ALWAYS THERE WITH YOU and HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. We hope that these words comfort and encourage you and that you find that they are true no matter what situation you find yourself in.

Then there are lots of pictures of us, then the close...

Thank you for making one of the hardest decisions in your life. We know that adoption would not be possible if not for you; the birth parents. Thank you for loving your child so much that you did the most unselfish thing you could do. Thank You for giving your child a chance to live! They will always know and understand that your selfless decision is evidence of your love for them. We look forward to the opportunity to meet and build a relationship with you.

With Love Dave and Sheri

We are very excited now that our letter is live!

Valentine Surprise!

After a wonderful breakfast with my Shmoopie on Saturday we returned home only to find our mailbox full of good news. First we received 10 of our documents back from the Chinese Consulate, but even better news was a little form from Homeland Security saying that we are approved! Yep the I-797C form was waiting in our mailbox on Valentines Day...can't think of a better gift!

So yesterday we took it to get notorized. Today, I will take both our HS and our I-797C to the State for certification. These are the last 2 documents that need to be notorized, certified or authenticated! Wait I think I am going to say that again...These are the last 2 documents that need to be notorized, certified or authenticated!!! Yipee

Dave and I made copies of everything for our Dossier on Sunday. Sooooo once these 2 papers are received back from the Chinese Consulate (usually taking about 2 weeks) We can send our Dossier off to China!

The paper journey has almost ended - what am I going to do with all my free time you ask...

More to come tomorrow.